


Memorial

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [43]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Developing Friendships, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 18:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14502486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: Sakaki heeds Matsuoka's advice and skips the drama of his uncle's funeral. Instead, he visits with his coworkers to honor his memory, and finds himself opening up to the possibility of forming a new circle of friends.





	Memorial

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't about to summarize the entire plot of Gakuen Heaven in the middle of this story, but I assume that anyone reading this already knows it. If not... well, I'm pretty sure the anime's on Youtube, or you could check out the GH Revolution manga. (Keeping in mind that this story is based on the game's version of events, where Matsuoka didn't do anything shady/illegal at all... but eh, the anime/manga is good enough.)
> 
> Hiroya doesn't really have an established personality outside of a few notes, so based on that vague stuff, I've decided that he's basically Niwa-lite. :p
> 
> ~~~
> 
> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Saturday, June 16, 2018**

I triple-checked the number on the door, confirming that it matched the email I'd received from Dr. Matsuoka, before pressing the doorbell button. A soft chime rang out, and a few seconds later, I heard footsteps, then a brief crackle of static.

"This is Yoshizumi... oh, Professor Sakaki, you're a bit early. One second."

True to his word, the door swung open only a second later, revealing the only somewhat familiar form of Dr. Yoshizumi. I'd only interacted with him in passing, sharing mumbled greetings in the school cafeteria or while walking around campus. He was a little shorter than me and had a slightly slimmer build, untamed hair, and a wide grin that reminded me a bit of Asahina. His outfit was completely different from the usual dress shirt and lab coat: simple, dark jeans and an untucked graphic tee that wouldn't have seemed out of place on one of the students. I suddenly felt a bit overdressed in my semi-casual dress shirt.

"Well, don't just stand there, come in!" He stepped back, motioning for me to enter. The inside of the apartment was brightly lit by the evening sunlight of early summer, revealing a spacious but still cozy space. I paused to take off my shoes, quickly glancing around to take in the general setup of the area. A relatively large living room was off to the right, the comfortable-looking sofa set piled with an assortment of pillows. In the center was a large coffee table that was nearly buried under stacks of books and paperwork, and I recognized the cover of a famous medical journal. Of course there was a matching entertainment center that boasted an oversized TV and plenty of storage, its shelves overflowing with media and trinkets. A small table against one wall was covered with free-standing picture frames, all with photos of the couple.

Everywhere I looked, the apartment was clean and neat but a little cluttered, as if its occupants never bothered putting anything away because they'd just have to dig it out again later. In other words, the place looked lived in, rather than sterile like my apartment. The space was filled with the warmth of personality, making the atmosphere comfortable and welcoming

Except the tension in my shoulders refused to go away. I drew on years of childhood etiquette lessons and ignored it, forcing a pleasant smile. "Thank you for inviting me, Dr. Yoshizumi. I brought two bottles of sake. Is there room in the fridge? This type is best when it's slightly chilled."

He accepted the offered bag, though he was frowning a little. "Ugh, don't call me Dr. Yoshizumi, we're not at work. Just Hiroya is fine." He winked at me.

_Wait, did he just wink?_ My smile froze on my face. I wasn't fond of the overly friendly type. _What is with this guy? We just met! And as far as I can tell, he doesn't seem like Dr. Matsuoka's type at all..._ Then again, I was with Asahina. _I guess opposites really do attract._

Everything in me wanted to resist. Unfortunately, nothing was more rude than refusing a direct request, especially one from someone who was older and a doctor to boot. "Alright, Hiroya-san. Um," I looked around again, hoping to see evidence that Dr. Matsuoka or Professor Ito or even Suzubishi was around, but the apartment seemed to be empty except for us. "Am I too early?"

I swear he looked disappointed. Was he expecting me to invite him to use my first name, then? The moment passed before I could figure out how to address it, and he moved on. "Nah, you're right on time, actually. Jin went out to pick up some food, he should be back any minute. Kazuki and Keita are late for everything recently, probably because Keita wants to drive and Kazuki won't let him, so they need time to get into a fight, sulk a bit, and then make up before they go anywhere."

"Heh, that sounds like an awkward situation."

"Tell me about it." Dr. Yoshizumi - _Hiroya-san,_ I silently corrected - waved toward the living room. "Here, get comfortable while I find a spot in the fridge for the booze. You'll probably want to go for the armchair since the rest of us have our usual spots on the sofa and loveseat." He set off down the hall, then came back after a moment. "Oh, you can move any stuff that's on the chair. Just put it on the floor or whatever."

"Right..." The chair was home to a pair of laptop bags and a motorcycle helmet. I carefully moved them to the floor beside the armchair and settled in, trying not to let myself sink into withdrawal to escape the awkwardness of the situation. Instead, I distracted myself by looking around more, noting that the rest of the biking outfit was hanging from a coat rack near the front door. Actually, there were two sets of clothing, plus a second helmet.

Dr. Yoshizumi - because screw it, I wasn't going to be pressured into using his first name in the privacy of my own mind! - returned from the kitchen and plopped down on the couch. "Ah, sorry, Jin's always leaving his helmet on the chair. It's heavier than it looks, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." I nodded toward the coat rack. "I've noticed that there's two sets of riding gear, I assume you go out together? That seems like it would be fun."

"Hmph, I wish." He rolled his eyes with a sigh. "I'm 'not allowed' to have a motorcycle," he actually held up his hands to make air quotes, "because Jin thinks it's 'too dangerous' or whatever. The second outfit is his spare for when the first one needs cleaning, though I do get to wear it when we ride together on his bike."

"Wait, it's too dangerous for you, but not for him? That doesn't sound very fair."

Dr. Yoshizumi straightened up in his chair, suddenly enthusiastic. "I know, right?! I've been telling Jin that for years, but nope, he won't budge. What a hypocrite."

"Who's a hypocrite?"

"Urgh..." Dr. Yoshizumi twisted around, aiming a grin at the front door and, I assumed, Dr. Matsuoka. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"It's not like I haven't heard it a thousand times before," a familiar voice sighed. A moment later, he stepped into view, a smile brightening his face as he saw the two of us sitting in the living room. "Ah, Professor Sakaki, good to see you. Sorry I'm late, there was a bit of a line at the fried chicken place. I hope this idiot didn't bother you too much while you were waiting." He ruffled Dr. Yoshizumi's hair with his free hand as he passed by, headed for the kitchen.

"Hey, who's the idiot? You're the one who decided to go to the most popular chicken place on a Saturday evening." Dr. Yoshizumi turned around to watch his boyfriend take care of the food. "That's not a short walk, either. You should have taken the bike."

The calm response was nearly drowned by the rustling of plastic bags. "A little walking never killed anyone."

"Damn near killed _me_ during therapy."

_Therapy?_ I raised an eyebrow but remained silent, studying the man before me. He didn't look like the type who'd ever needed physical therapy. Maybe he'd broken his leg at some point in the past? That would explain Dr. Matsuoka's reluctance to let him ride.

"But it was worth it, because now you're able to follow and pester me anywhere, right?"

"That's true." He got up, also headed for the kitchen, but stopped mid-step as the doorbell rang. "I bet that's Keita and Kazuki!" He rushed over to the door, confirming it with the intercom, and flung the door open wide to let them in. Or rather, they would have come in, but Dr. Yoshizumi pulled Professor Ito into a bear hug, creating a roadblock that prevented anyone from entering.

"Oof," Ito squeaked. "Um, that's a little tight..."

I heard Suzubishi sigh from behind him. "Hiroya-san, it's only been a couple of weeks since the last time we visited, you don't need to crush Keita to death."

"It's just a little squeeze," he protested, but released Ito, who looked relieved. "Come on in, guys! Don't forget to behave yourselves, though, Professor Sakaki is already here."

Somehow I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _This from the man who is clearly the prime troublemaker in this group._

Ito rushed over to me, smiling. "Hello, Professor Sakaki! I'm glad you came over today." He lowered his eyes, suddenly more somber. "I heard about your uncle from Dr. Matsuoka. I'm sorry. But," he brightened up a little again, "I'm happy that you decided to spend time with friends instead of trying to deal with it all alone. I know it won't make the hurt go away, but it's a lot easier if you can share the burden with others."

If the commentary hadn't been so speedy and breathless, I would have sworn Asahina was speaking. The tension in my shoulders loosened a bit; of everyone present, Ito was the easiest to read and the person I was most familiar with. "Yes, thank you. I think I would be tempted to attend the funeral if I didn't have something else to distract me today."

"Yeah." Ito sat down on one side of the loveseat as if he belonged there. His usual spot, no doubt. "It's too bad that your family is still so stubborn. Actually, I think you're pretty amazing, doing what's really important to you despite the pressure. I don't think I'd be strong enough to resist if my parents said they didn't want me to be a teacher and stuff like that..."

"I don't know, you might be surprised by your own strength, especially when it comes to the things that are most important to you." I glanced toward Suzubishi, who was still chatting with Dr. Yoshizumi. _I wonder what your family thinks of him, or if they even know. I'd guess most people would be thrilled to learn that the heir of Suzubishi was dating their kid._

"Hehe, well, it makes me happy to hear you say that, Professor, but I don't think I can compete with someone as confident as you."

I didn't bother hiding my smile. "Well, that's true."

"Hey!" Ito pouted, but his eyes betrayed him. He was amused.

"Hey, you two," Dr. Matsuoka poked his head out of the kitchen and frowned at Suzubishi and Dr. Yoshizumi. "If you have time to stand around talking, you have time to come in here and help me get this food sorted out so we can eat."

Professor Ito giggled. "Dr. Matsuoka, you sound just like Professor Sakaki!"

I let that pass. "Shouldn't we help too?"

"The kitchen is too small for all of us. We'd just be in the way."

Well, that was true. Most apartment kitchens, even in a building like this that was much nicer - and definitely far more expensive - than my own, were tiny. "I see. From the way Dr. Yoshizumi greeted you, it seems like you visit often. At first I thought it was because you were friends from school, but there's too much of an age difference. Did this start as a professional relationship, then?"

"Mm, it _is_ related to the school in a way. Dr. Matsuoka promised that you'd get the full explanation today, right? But I think it's better for everyone to be together in order to tell that story. It's long and complicated, and everyone has their own part to explain." He must have taken my frown for concern, because he quickly added, "It's nothing bad! Well... I mean, everything is fine now, so there's nothing to worry about."

What was with that cryptic addition? I decided not to pursue it, partly because of Ito's explanation, and partly because of the sudden appearance of food. Suzubishi and Dr. Yoshizumi handed overloaded plates of fried chicken and questionable-looking side items to me and Professor Ito, then made a return trip to the kitchen to get their own food, or so I thought. Soon the free spaces on the dining table were covered with stacks of paper napkins, cans of soda and beer, a large and mysterious covered dish, and the remainder of the takeout containers.

"Alright," Dr. Matsuoka announced, taking a seat on the sofa beside Dr. Yoshizumi, "that should be everything. If I forgot anything, you know where the kitchen is. Oh, except you, Professor Sakaki, it's just down the hall and on the left."

For a while, we ate in relative silence. The greasy takeout food was surprisingly good, though maybe that was because I didn't indulge that often. Or maybe because that sort of food paired perfectly with a cold beer. After a few minutes, the conversation picked up, first with murmured chatter between the couples, and then some comments about the food and the weather. Typical safe topics, clearly chosen because I was intruding on their usual intimate space.

At a lull in the conversation, Suzubishi's attention turned to me, as if he could sense my growing discomfort. "Professor Sakaki, I know you've been aware of our relationship for quite some time." He glanced at Professor Ito for a moment. "I wanted to say thank you for keeping that knowledge a secret all this time. Our families aren't aware of our relationship yet, and I'm sure you know just how delicate a situation like this can be. I also want to apologize for fearing that you would use it against us. I misjudged you."

I was very aware that everyone in the room was focused on me, waiting for a response. Somehow the situation felt more intense than being the center of attention at a board meeting. Then again, I normally wasn't caught off-guard with greasy fingers at a board meeting. "Well," I began, brain scrambling around for the best reply. Serious? Something light? Make a joke? Now that I thought about it, everyone except Dr. Matsuoka was at an unfair disadvantage; I knew something about them that they didn't know about me.

I decided to settle for sincere but lighthearted. "I wouldn't out someone just because I don't like them. I'd be a hypocrite if I used someone's orientation against them in some way." I couldn't quite meet Suzubishi's eyes as I gave a half-hearted shrug and smile. "We're all the same, after all."

Silence. Suzubishi looked a bit puzzled, and Ito even more so, brows drawing together and eyes pointing toward the ceiling in his usual ridiculous look of confusion.

Dr. Yoshizumi was the first to react. "I _knew_ it." He bumped shoulders with his lover. "I told you, Jin, he's way too well groomed to be straight."

Dr. Matsuoka simply shrugged, the usual calm smile on his lips. I was beginning to understand just how he managed to have a seemingly infinite supply of patience, living with someone who would have driven me mad in less than an hour. "And I keep telling _you_ not to make assumptions about people, Hiroya. There are plenty of straight men who care about their appearance."

I wasn't sure how to feel, torn between annoyance at his commentary or relief that Dr. Matsuoka had in fact kept his word, not spilling my personal business to anyone, even his boyfriend. Still, my heart was racing, mouth dry with the adrenaline-fueled desire to get up and flee the situation before things got any worse. _This is exactly why I never talk about myself. I'm going to give myself a heart attack._

"Wait..." Ito looked like his brain was about to give out. "Professor Sakaki, you're... I mean, I wasn't expecting that, I had no idea! Oh, but you have the wrong idea, I'm not, um, gay." He definitely blushed as he stumbled over the word, like the concept was something alien to him.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow and looked from him to Suzubishi. "The two of you are a romantic couple. That is, by definition, a gay relationship." The message that had been accidentally recorded on my phone years ago had made it perfectly clear. I wasn't mistaken.

Suzubishi looked a bit embarrassed as well, scratching nervously at his cheek. "Well, you could classify our relationship that way, but I don't consider myself to be gay either. I'm not attracted to other men, or women, for that matter. I've only ever been interested in Keita."

"Yeah, same for me. I never dated anyone else before Kazuki, so I guess it's like I never had a chance to see if I liked anyone else?" He shrugged. "Anyway, I'm happy with the way things are now, so I don't really see the point in thinking about other possibilities."

Had I wandered into some strange alternate dimension where everyone except me had incredibly specific preferences fixated on a single person? I was starting to feel like I was in a BL drama or something equally inane. I glanced at the other couple. "And you two?"

Dr. Matsuoka probably detected the note of defeat in my voice, because he smiled while shaking his head. "Sorry to disappoint you, Professor, but I'm actually bi. I had several girlfriends before I was with Hiroya, and I'd say I lean more toward that side. Still, I've always found a certain type of guy to be attractive - carefree, well-groomed, confident - but I shrugged it off as simple admiration or aspiring to be more like them. Once I got together with Hiroya, I was able to recognize my attraction for what it was, and enjoy it as a part of myself."

"Geez, Jin, do you have to analyze everything, even yourself?" Dr. Yoshizumi turned to me with a smile that seemed far more sincere than his usual wide grin. "Anyway, before you ask, I'm happy to inform you that I'm actually gay. Do you know how much of a relief it is to meet someone else who understands what it's like? I've been surrounded by these clueless guys for the past seven years - sorry, guys, no offense, but you don't have experience with the kind of stuff that us regular gay guys have to deal with on a regular basis. No worries about being caught showing a bit of affection to the wrong man, the hassle of falling for someone who's not even a possibility, growing up desperately trying to hide something that's an integral part of yourself... it sucks."

I was surprised by the depth and sincerity of his words. _Maybe he's not as shallow and carefree as he seems._ I wasn't the only one who'd developed a protective mask over the years, though they were drastically different, shaped by our underlying personalities.

He was watching me expectantly, waiting for my agreement. I hesitated, trying to decide just how much detail about myself I wanted to add to the conversation. "Yeah," I mumbled, not meeting anyone's eyes. "It's hard, growing up and knowing you're fundamentally different. Of course we're all pressured to conform as kids, and then with the added pressure from my family to be an excellent student, to prepare for becoming part of the business, I felt that I had to work twice as hard to please my father so that my obvious 'flaw' would be left alone." A humorless smile twisted my lips. "Not that we ever spoke about it directly, of course. Still, it hung over our relationship like a dark cloud."

I didn't want to say more. They didn't need to know that my refusal to completely suppress that part of myself was probably what had made me realize that I had some measure of personal freedom. Would I have followed my heart and studied to become a teacher if I hadn't already been defying my father in some way? It was hard to say.

"Yeah, that's rough," Dr. Yoshizumi sighed. "I consider myself pretty lucky, since my mom didn't care. She just worried about me getting bullied in school or, later, people at work giving me a hard time about it. But everyone at work is at least vaguely aware of us, and I'm pretty sure a lot of them think we're just close friends or whatever." He shrugged. "No need to correct their assumptions, and Jin doesn't really want everyone to know his personal business anyway. I'd say it bothers me, but I'm all settled down happily so it's not like I'm missing out on anything if other guys don't know."

"That's true. No need to advertise what's not on the market."

"Exactly, you get it." His grin turned a little sly. "Does that mean you're dating someone right now? I've heard that you've softened a bit recently, and you leave the school island every weekend."

My eyes instinctively flicked to Dr. Matsuoka for a second before I was able to force my gaze down to the floor. "I am. I'm not going to talk about it, though. It's... a bit complicated."

"Sorry to hear that. Family issues? I guess he's buried in the closet too?"

"Hiroya!" I glanced up, surprised by the sharpness of Dr. Matsuoka's tone. I don't think I'd ever seen him look genuinely shocked before. "My god, you don't know when to quit, do you?"

"Sure I do. It's whenever you get mad at me." Dr. Yoshizumi had a smug, almost proud smile on his face.

Dr. Matsuoka sighed, pressing one hand to his forehead. "This is why we can't make new friends."

I probably shouldn't have laughed, but it slipped out before I could catch myself. Soon another voice joined in, a high-pitched giggle that definitely belonged to Ito. A quiet, more subdued laugh followed soon after, and a quick glance confirmed that it was Suzubishi. The two doctors watched us with resigned, maybe slightly embarrassed smiles.

Suzubishi turned to me, still grinning. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before."

"That's because there's trouble every time you're around." His smile faded into disappointment, and I regretted my snappy retort immediately. The mood turned heavy in an instant. The only way to undo it was to apologize. "Wait, forget that. I'm sorry, it's a bad habit." I tried not to hesitate too much before adding, "I've seen how Kasahara has changed recently. I'm sure you and Ito have been a major part of that, by giving him a place to belong that's outside of the school environment."

Suzubishi warmed up again in an instant. "Thanks. I like to think that Tomo-kun is feeling pretty comfortable with us now. And you've been helping him a lot too, Professor Sakaki."

I held up one hand to cut off the rest of his commentary. "Come on, let's not make this into an awkward formal situation. We all came here to relax. No flattering compliments, please."

"You started it," Ito pointed out, still smiling.

"Relaxing is good, but I thought our real purpose here was to support the professor on a tough day. Let's all try to focus on that a little more." Dr. Matsuoka's long ponytail spilled over one shoulder as he leaned forward to look at me with a faint smile. "I was thinking, since we're done eating, would you like to talk about your uncle a little? Or would it be better if we found some sort of distraction so you don't have to think about anything right now?"

Ah, yes, ever the therapist. "First things first, I'm going to wash my hands. I can't have any sort of conversation with greasy fingers. Excuse me."

"Good idea!" Ito got up and began gathering the used dishes. "Let's get this place cleaned up a little, then we can decide what to do. Hey, Kazuki, you help too!"

"Okay, okay," Suzubishi sighed, standing up to lend a hand. I retreated to the bathroom, finding it to be much like the rest of the apartment: a bit cluttered, but not overwhelming or messy. I took my time washing up, not because I was reluctant to help the others clean up, but because I needed to calm my mind. Just how much did I want to share with this group of strangers?

_They're not strangers,_ I corrected myself. _I've worked closely with Ito for over a year, Dr. Matsuoka has been at the school since long before I arrived, and even if I don't know Suzubishi that well on a personal level, I've heard a lot about him from Nao, Ito, and now Kasahara. Dr. Yoshizumi is the only one in this group I should feel uncomfortable around, and he's the one who has the most in common with me._

Geez, what was I doing being so hesitant? These guys weren't out to get me.

_You can't do everything by yourself, Professor. Try to rely on other people a little more._

Asahina was right. He was always right when it came to relationships. I splashed cold water on my face as if that would shock me out of feeling like I wanted to escape. It didn't do much for my anxiety, but it did feel nice.

By the time I returned to the living room, the plates and empty cans had been cleared away, replaced with decorative cups and one of the bottles of sake I'd offered as a gift. The mysterious dish that Suzubishi had brought over was uncovered, revealing a pile of what appeared to be homemade brownies. I raised an eyebrow, wondering who had made them. Surely not Suzubishi himself? 

The chatter around the table died down as I entered the room and sat down again. _It's hard to have any measure of confidence when my mere presence is a conversation killer..._

Asahina's voice rang in my ears again. _I'm sure everyone else will be just as nervous. But it's okay if it's awkward, that doesn't mean you can't be friends. Please promise me you'll try, okay?_

I forced a smile, hoping it didn't look as fake as it felt. "Sorry I didn't help clean up."

"It's fine, don't worry! You're the guest of honor, since me and Kazuki are here all the time." Ito smiled brightly, gesturing toward the sake and snacks. "Thanks for bringing over some sake. I poured a little for everyone - except _you,_ Kazuki, since you won't let me drive."

Suzubishi shrugged with a faint smile, not taking the bait. "So, Professor Sakaki, would you like to say a few words about your uncle? I have to admit, I was surprised that I didn't see anything in the news about his passing. Your family is often in the spotlight."

My shoulders relaxed a little; somehow, talking about my uncle was a little easier than having everyone focused directly on me. "This uncle is actually my mother's younger brother, so he's not really part of the Sakaki family. If it made the news at all, it would have been a brief mention."

"Ah, sorry, Kazuki-kun," Dr. Matsuoka nodded toward him, "I forgot to mention that detail."

"Mm, I see, that makes sense." Suzubishi looked to me again. "So, Professor, will you tell us a little about him? What was his name and what did he do? Do you have any favorite memories you'd like to share?"

Well, that first part was easy enough. "Takada Hiroshi. The Takada family business is management of temp and staffing agencies, and my uncle was head of their corporate recruiting company. My mother was involved in the business as well, which is what made her a good match for my father. A massive multinational group needs to find a lot of talented employees, and after the marriage, nearly all of the recruiting business resources were redirected to staff up the Sakaki Group. My uncle was an excellent executive recruiter, mainly because he was so good with people." 

I lowered my eyes, vague impressions of various conversations flickering through my mind. "He was one of those guys who seemed like he could read minds, that's how good he was at understanding the real meaning behind people's words. He could tell instantly if someone was lying, or if they were being overly modest, and it was like he could uncover hidden talents too. Of course, he never really had time to deal with the younger workers who were less aware of their own potential, but..."

"But he made time for you, and saw your potential?" Dr. Yoshizumi asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I didn't see him often, but that didn't seem to matter. He was always very perceptive. And though he was a serious, no-nonsense type of guy, I think he could sense that I didn't quite fit into the mold my parents had prepared for me. He encouraged me to explore my own interests - after, of course, fulfilling my obligations. He was big on respect and all that, but also finding a balance between what was expected and what made someone truly happy."

"So he encouraged you to become a teacher, then?" Ito looked proud of himself for figuring that out.

"Ah, no, my uncle didn't influence that decision. That's... a long story for another time." The disappointment in Ito's eyes prompted me to continue, "But once I made that decision, my uncle was the one who helped me present my case to my father. Of course, my father wanted me to get involved in the management side of things, not to work as a lowly teacher on the front lines, but my uncle helped me prepare my counterarguments. I would be more effective as a manager if I truly understood the daily concerns of the business and all that. After completing my first year of teaching, I ended up taking on both roles, same as now."

"It sounds like he was a strong positive influence in your life." Suzubishi had a soft smile, as if remembering something himself. "Reminds me of my grandfather."

I murmured my agreement, taking advantage of the break in conversation to take a sip of sake. The others followed suit, offering compliments on the flavor of both the sake and the snacks. I was tempted to indulge, but held back, knowing that once I started drinking, I would also start talking. And while I was certain that nothing truly dangerous would slip out - particularly about my relationship with Asahina - I wasn't sure how I felt about speaking more freely in a group.

As if reading my mind, Professor Ito turned toward me. "If you want to drink, go ahead. This building allows overnight parking for visitors, so you can leave your car here if you don't feel safe driving home later. I think you'll relax a bit if you drink a little."

"No, that's not necessary," I protested.

"Hm? But you don't seem to mind letting loose a little after work." Dr. Matsuoka was watching us with a faint smile. "We're all friends here. No one's going to reveal your secret, that you soften up once a bit of alcohol is applied."

I made a face. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Well, you've come to the food carts often enough after work that we've figured it out." Ito was definitely grinning. "It's kind of fun... even if you end up teasing me more than usual."

It was hard not to fidget with everyone watching me. "Well... if it's okay to leave the car here overnight, I might consider it. I'd rather not make a fool of myself, though."

"Ah, no, that's not what I'm saying!"

I waved away Ito's apology. "It's fine. I'm well aware that I get chatty when I drink."

"I'm the same way," Suzubishi sighed, glancing at the cup in Ito's hands. "Unfortunately, you won't get a chance to see that tonight. What a shame."

"What's a shame is that you won't let me drive, Kazuki." Ito downed the contents of his glass, coughing a bit as he finished. He didn't look like he was particularly fond of the taste, and honestly, I couldn't remember ever seeing him drink. Hadn't he mentioned that he was a lightweight?

"If you keep drinking like that, Ito, you might be the one in trouble." I shook my head and took another sip. The cool sake warmed me from within, a pleasant knot of heat at my core. Surely it was safe to reveal some things that were more personal. These were good people. Right?

"You guys are getting off topic," Dr. Yoshizumi huffed. "Professor Sakaki, I'd like to hear more about your uncle. It sounds like he had a lot of experience and insight. Do you have any interesting stories or fun memories?"

I was grateful for the redirection. "He wasn't the type of person to have fun, if you know what I mean, but I do have some good memories. It's a little hard to talk about, but... I'll never forget the conversation we had after I found out that my mother had been complaining to him about my reluctance to go on arranged dates. I think anyone would have found her meddling unreasonable; I had just started university and it was my first time living away from home. Well, I'm sure you all know what it's like when a kid gets a taste of real freedom. It was especially exciting for me, since my home was so strict and stuffy. I didn't go crazy, but I did enjoy keeping to my own schedule, making some friends outside of my family's social circles, and attending the occasional party. And, of course, I finally had the opportunity to explore my sexuality. So naturally, her insistence on setting me up with the daughters of our business partners was quite irritating."

"Geez, what a pain in the ass," Dr. Yoshizumi sighed. "So I guess your mom thought she was being helpful and had no idea that you're gay?"

"It's hard to say. A few things happened when I was younger, so I think it's impossible that my parents had no idea. Maybe they thought it was just a phase or something I'd grow out of." A faint, bitter smile came to my lips. "It's not like we ever discussed it openly. That, or anything else."

"Ugh, sorry to hear that. I think I've been pretty lucky, never really hassled by anyone, lots of accepting friends and coworkers. I guess your uncle was the one guy you could be open with?"

"That's a little complicated too. Even during that conversation, we didn't talk about it directly, but it was obvious that he understood exactly why I wasn't interested in dating. Or rather, that he knew the reason, because I suspect that he didn't truly understand how or why I felt that way. He was a bit old-fashioned. But that didn't stop him from offering sincere advice."

I closed my eyes, his words echoing in my mind as clearly as they had when he'd spoken them. "Live with integrity, that's what he said. That I'm the one who has to live my life, and while I'm the one who has to live with the consequences of my decisions, those decisions affect others as well. Be responsible and be honest. Compromise when necessary and appropriate, and refuse to compromise on the things that truly matter."

After a short silence, Dr. Matsuoka murmured, "Good advice."

"Yes, it was." I took a few more sips of sake, emptying the cup. "I took it to mean that I needed to be firm on the points that meant the most for my future happiness: my choices of career and partner. I was willing to bend on other things, as long as I didn't go against my principles, but those two are untouchable."

"It's true, those two factors will contribute most to your happiness over a lifetime." Suzubishi nudged Ito with his shoulder, smiling.

"Or unhappiness, if you're not true to yourself," Dr. Yoshizumi countered. When I glanced up, his eyes were on me. "Honestly, I'm glad you came here to hang out with us instead of going to the funeral. This is the kind of important stuff you'd want to share with the rest of your family, but it sounds like they wouldn't be open to hearing it. Even if you cut out the part where he was accepting of you being gay, I get the feeling that they'd bristle at the idea of him encouraging you to follow your own path instead of stuffing yourself into the mold they'd set up for you."

I nodded. "It's true. I was reluctant to miss the funeral and the opportunity to pay my respects. I knew I would feel guilty for skipping it just to avoid the rest of my family, because I'd lost contact with my uncle after I started working. The usual excuses, life got busy, I needed time to adjust to the working world, but there was nothing stopping me from picking up the phone once a week. The funeral was my last chance to make it up to him, in a way. But you're right. I couldn't be honest about the advice he gave me or how much of an impact it had on my life. Keeping quiet about that would make me feel just as guilty. What's the point of getting together to remember someone if you can't talk about the memories that made a difference?"

"Do you still feel guilty about not attending today?" Suzubishi asked. "I think you've done a fine job of honoring his memory right here."

"I think I'll always carry a bit of regret, not for the reality of the funeral, but for the idealized version I was hoping for. If that makes any sense. The fantasy of my family being close, of being accepted by my parents, that sort of thing." For some reason, my voice caught on the last few words, and I cleared my throat to try and distract from it. Great. That was guaranteed to draw more attention.

I reached across the table and poured myself another drink, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Dr. Yoshizumi refilled his cup as well, motioning toward me with it. "Hey, how about a toast to your uncle? Come on, guys, get your drinks."

Everyone complied readily, all holding up their cups and watching me expectantly. My tongue froze. Of course I was the one who had to speak, but what was I going to say? I'd just finished explaining more about my uncle than I'd ever told anyone else before. Thinking of something else to top it all off felt impossible.

Dr. Matsuoka must have seen the anxiety in my expression. "If you don't mind...?"

I smiled weakly with grateful relief. "Please, go ahead."

He nodded, ponytail bobbing. "Takada Hiroshi-san. We never met, but I feel that I know you at least a little thanks to your nephew's stories. You left our world too soon and without warning, but I hope that your spirit can find peace in knowing that you will not be forgotten. Cheers."

The others echoed his sentiment, loud enough to drown the quiet thanks I murmured into my cup before drinking. 

Everyone was quiet for a bit after the toast, each not wanting to be first to break the silence. They were smiling faintly at me, as if expecting some sort of speech. Well, they were going to be disappointed; all I wanted was to escape the attention that had been focused on me for too long.

I set down my cup and leaned back in the armchair. "So, how do the four of you know each other?" I didn't even try to make the change of subject gracefully. "You're an odd assortment, all different ages - except you two," I nodded toward the doctors, "but it seems that you're old friends."

After a long pause, Suzubishi was first to speak up. "It's a long story, and one that no one outside of our group knows. I'll be honest with you, Professor, I originally refused to come here today because I didn't want to reveal it to anyone else. I've been guarding it for years, not really for my sake, but for Keita's. I didn't want him to be dragged into anything weird again. But Keita insisted on coming. He's wanted to get to know you better for a long time." He lowered his eyes, looking vaguely embarrassed. "I'll admit, I was pretty hard to convince. I'm sorry."

"That again? I told you, it's perfectly natural to distrust me. Our families are opposed."

"Hehe, are they really?" Ito cut in. "We heard a lot about you from Nao-kun, you know? He said you were his best friend, so I knew you couldn't be a bad guy. That's why I never really felt nervous around you at work, well, aside from you being my superior and all..."

My heart lurched a little at the mention of Nao's name. _Calling me your best friend, really?_

Fortunately, no one commented on the idiotic smile that came to my face. Instead, Suzubishi mirrored it. "Well, that's true. Still, I was wary, and since you were so abrasive when I came to introduce Tomo-kun to you... well, it was a rough time for everyone."

"Yes, it was, and I'd rather not rehash it now."

"Good idea," Dr. Matsuoka murmured. "Kazuki-kun, why don't you start? The real story begins with you and Professor Ito as childhood friends, after all."

"Okay, just let me get settled in here, it's a long one." He rummaged around in the tote bag he'd set down to one side of the couch, producing a ball of yarn that was attached to... well, I wasn't exactly sure, but it looked like half of a sock. A bunch of wooden sticks were poking out of it.

"Is that... knitting?"

"Oh, that's right, you don't know about Mr. Arts and Crafts over here." Dr. Yoshizumi grinned, pulling up the leg of his pants to show off the colorful sock he was wearing. "Here's another one of his creations. Kazuki-kun is really into sewing and especially knitting. His mom's a knitting instructor so I guess it's in the blood. Anyway, if you two get to be friends, maybe you'll be worthy of something handmade too!"

"Geez, Hiroya-san, it's not that big a deal." Suzubishi actually blushed, then coughed to cover up his embarrassment. "Anyway, I'm sure Professor Sakaki wants to hear about how we all became friends, not the details of my personal hobbies. It was a long time ago, back when I was a kid and I spent summers at my grandfather's house in the country..."

The story that followed was, frankly, ridiculous. I would have been inclined to accuse Suzubishi of making it all up - a grandfather with a mad scientist's lab in his basement, a mysterious and dangerous virus, a child's miraculous recovery - but he told the story so naturally that it was hard to doubt him. After Suzubishi finished his part, the two doctors explained their friendship over the years, how they had parted ways when Dr. Matsuoka went to study in America, and then his return when Dr. Yoshizumi had fallen ill. And finally, the incredible coincidence of Ito hearing the story, realizing that he had been infected with the same virus, and the miracle cure that had been developed with his full cooperation.

"And that's why Jin won't let me have any fun," Dr. Yoshizumi lamented, aiming a smirk at his boyfriend.

"Honestly, if my partner had been through all that and miraculously recovered, I would probably be overprotective of him too." I looked him up and down. "So you're completely fine now?"

"Yeah, I am, thanks to Kazuki-kun bringing in the best doctors and staff he could find."

"Don't discount your own hard work, Hiroya-san," Suzubishi scolded with a frown, still knitting even though he was looking directly at Dr. Yoshizumi. In fact, the lumpy object he was working on had somehow gone from half a sock to a nearly complete one over the course of the explanation.

"Well, I don't really want to think about that too much." Dr. Yoshizumi sighed, running a hand back through his hair. "Way too much work that took way too long."

"But you did it, and faster than expected." Ito smiled at him. "I like to think it was because my luck was helping you out, but I know it was because you worked so hard at it."

Was it a trick of the light, or did the doctor blush?

"Geez, Keita, you really do just say whatever you want." Suzubishi smiled indulgently. "I don't know about the rest of you guys, but since I didn't get to have any sake, I'm in the mood for coffee. Does anyone else want a cup? I don't want to make too much or too little."

Coffee sounded pretty good after drinking. I glanced at the empty bottle of sake on the table, feeling a bit embarrassed about drinking most of it myself after offering it as a gift. At least there was a second bottle safely tucked in the fridge. "I do."

"Alright, anyone else?" Suzubishi got to his feet. "No? Okay, I'll be right back. Professor Sakaki, how do you like your coffee?"

"Just black is fine." I didn't know what compelled me to follow him, but I stood too. "I'll come with you. I need to stretch my legs a bit."

His eyes widened a tiny bit, then he smiled. "It _was_ a long story, wasn't it?"

I followed him into the kitchen, noting that he seemed quite at home and knew where everything was stored. There was nothing to help with, so I just waited patiently while he got out the supplies and got the coffee brewing. I felt pressured to say something, so I settled on the safe and obvious observation. "I guess you spend a lot of time here."

"Yeah, we've been visiting most weekends for several years, so this is almost like a second home." He pressed the coffee and poured it out, offering me a mug. "We don't come over as much right now, since we usually have Tomo-kun, but sometimes we'll squeeze in a Sunday evening visit after he's gone back to the school. I'm happy to have him around, of course, but sometimes you end up missing your old routine, you know? Plus I think it's good for him to have a break from all the pressure and responsibility I represent in his life."

I took a tentative sip; of course, the coffee was far too hot, and I set it aside for the moment. "Yeah, I heard from Kasahara, he's seriously considering a formal adoption. He's pretty tough, thinking about that after what happened in his past."

Suzubishi nodded. "I agree. I'm trying to watch him closely and make sure he's not pushing himself too hard, but I travel a lot for work and honestly, he still doesn't trust me completely. So, if you don't mind me asking again... will you help him? Of course Keita and Jin-san are watching over him too, but I feel that you two are even closer."

I normally would have had some sort of witty comeback or sarcastic comment, but after the honesty of the evening, I didn't feel like putting up false walls. Instead, I nodded. "Of course I'll help Kasahara. He's skilled but inexperienced and he needs an environment where it's safe to make mistakes. I can guide him in making decisions and cover for any bad ones. And if I can help him avoid making the same stupid mistakes I have, that's even better."

Suzubishi was quiet for several moments, watching me with a serious expression that I hadn't seen on him often. "You know, I've noticed that you're awfully negative when you talk about yourself. Tomo-kun is the same way. There's a difference between modestly acknowledging your faults and internalizing them as part of your identity. Even if you think of it as a joke or a way to break the ice, you end up believing that stuff."

It took all of my self-control to keep from rolling my eyes. "I'm not going to pretend I haven't made mistakes for the sake of a false ego boost."

"But you shouldn't pretend you haven't had successes, or that you lack experience, or that other people see you as a failure. You're a respected professional. Tomo-kun looks up to you. Keita looks up to you too - actually, you know why this conversation feels so familiar to me? Because he also falls into that same self-deprecation trap." He sighed. "Look, I'm not saying to ignore your own faults or to stop trying to improve, but don't let that stuff drag you down. I've done incredibly stupid things that have cost the company a _lot_ of money. If I think about it too much, it's depressing and I want to crawl in a hole somewhere. But if I do that, I can't improve. That's what I keep telling Keita and Tomo-kun, and now you."

He was right. I didn't want to admit it, of course, but he was right. I avoided his eyes, unable to stand the intensity of his serious look. Everything in me bristled at his unsolicited advice, wanting to reject it because of its source. I swallowed that prideful feeling down with a weak nod. "I don't really know what to say to all that."

"Or maybe you're too polite to tell me you've heard it all before, and from people you can actually stand?" His laugh was soft but sounded genuine. "It's fine. I just started spouting advice without being asked, and I'm well aware that you're not particularly fond of me."

"Well, maybe we just got off on the wrong foot." I picked up my mug, sipping the hot liquid so I would have an excuse to keep quiet.

"Yeah, it's true." Suzubishi's smile turned a little pained. "It was a rough time for everyone."

We were silent for a couple of minutes, but it didn't feel like an awkward silence. It wasn't especially comfortable either, still tense and uncertain. _But that's fine._ Suzubishi didn't have to be my favorite person, now or ever, but I could acknowledge that he was a decent person. I could understand that traits I found annoying were things that other people might find endearing; certainly the group of friends here thought so. More importantly, his heart was in the right place, a rarity among the elites that were part of my family's social circles. The rest of his family was probably the same way.

In other words, Kasahara was in good hands. Which meant that Nao had been as well.

"Hey," I murmured, placing my mug back on the counter.

Suzubishi peered at me over his mug in a way that was almost comical. "Hm?"

"Nao never really talked about his family, or anything else that seemed important." I glanced down, not wanting to see the answer in his expression. "Did he really say I was his best friend?"

"Yes, he did, more than once. But," Suzubishi's mug clanked on the counter, "he was a very secretive person despite his outgoing personality. I think he was always subconsciously afraid of being rejected because of his illness. I heard from my aunt that he'd been passed over for adoption several times because most families either couldn't afford his care, or that they feared he might not live long even with appropriate care. And she didn't hear that directly from Nao-kun, either, but from Haruno-san at the orphanage." He sighed. "I could never get him to open up about his past. He would chatter on forever about his interests and studies, the books he was reading, things he enjoyed, but one word about his past or his health and he'd clam up in an instant."

"I never thought to ask about those things. I was content to debate with him, to talk mainly about work with some idle conversation about current events or media, trivial stuff like that. Of course I noticed that he got sick often, but I never pressed when he waved off my concerns. Maybe I should have been more persistent." Though every time I'd tried, I'd been warned away with a sullen look and lack of response. It hadn't taken long to learn not to pry into Nao's personal life.

"No, you were exactly what Nao-kun needed. He needed someone to treat him as an ordinary coworker instead of a child made of glass. I think the reason he was able to rise to the challenges of his position was because he had you there as his adversary, treating him as a worthy threat to the board's interests. You didn't cave in to what he wanted because you were thinking about 'the poor sick boy,' you simply did your job normally. That you became close friends was just a bonus, I think, but the real value to Nao-kun was that you were his rock of normalcy."

"That's going way too far." Damnit, my face was definitely getting hot.

"I respectfully disagree. Every time I saw him, he was going on and on about how great it was to have a real challenge without worrying about any weird sympathy." Suzubishi's smile faded. "I'm sure that's why he kept so many things to himself."

"It was selfish of him," I mumbled, staring at my feet. 

"Yes, it was. You could say that he was using you, in a way."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I'd probably realized it before on a subconscious level, so it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Nao had needed a particular type of person and relationship, and providing that hadn't cost me anything. I looked up again. "If I was what he needed, then it's fine."

"You were. But you were dear to him in the true sense as well, a respected friend and supporter."

Okay, this conversation was getting far too embarrassing. I needed to get back on track. "You seem to be forgetting that my family sent me to take over his position."

"Well, what your family wants you to do and what you actually want to do often seem to be two different things, and I'm grateful for that." 

So much for making things _less_ embarrassing. I had no idea how to respond to that. After a brief pause, Suzubishi continued in a bright tone, "Did I ever tell you that the school is my retirement plan? I fully intend to go back there after handing the company over to Tomo-kun."

I snorted, though I was relieved by the sudden change of subject. Had he finally realized that he'd said too much? "Assuming Kasahara even wants it. Or that your family approves of him."

"Well, I guess we'll figure that out over the next year or so." He drained his mug. "Honestly, I'd rather not think about it right now..."

"Oh, so you _do_ have a weak point. I'll have to keep that in mind."

Suzubishi made a face. "Okay, fine, I walked into that one. Anyway, why don't we get back to the others? I don't think they expected us to hang out in here drinking coffee all night."

"I see, you're in a hurry to retreat now that I've learned something interesting about you." I rinsed out my mug and placed it in the sink. "I'll give you a little hint, then. Kasahara seems quite serious about improving himself, so you probably don't have to worry about his side of it."

"Yeah, well, that's not the part I'm worried about," Suzubishi sighed.

"Kazuki, are you ever coming back?" Ito peered into the kitchen, cell phone in one hand. "Sorry to interrupt, but you got a few calls and now there's some texts in English... it must be something important if they're pestering you this much."

"Again?! I thought I could have at least one damn weekend of peace and quiet." He snatched the phone from Ito's hand with a ragged sigh. The look on his face as he scrolled through his messages could have killed a man. "How on earth did they screw up the database connections again? Do they make modifications in the live system before testing them first, or did some lazy database admin get an inexperienced grunt to cover for them and mess it up _again?_ "

"Um, Kazuki? If you keep squeezing the phone like that, it might break..."

Suzubishi's tone was dark as he replied, "If I break it, maybe I can pretend I didn't see any of this nonsense."

"Hmm, maybe Kasahara will reconsider joining Suzubishi after seeing how much of a hassle it is to deal with a multinational corporation." I peered at the phone screen. "Good luck, future CEO."

"Professor Sakaki, I would punch you, but I'm pretty sure you're stronger than me."

"Heh, I won't deny that." I glanced at Ito. "It sounds like you guys have to go. It's probably time for me to head home as well."

Dr. Yoshizumi appeared in the doorway, apparently summoned by the mere suggestion that his friends had to leave. "Aww, really? Everyone's going home already? But we still have another bottle of sake!"

"That's for you two to enjoy," I countered, "not for all of us to drink up in one night."

"Well, okay, but _you_ don't have to leave just because Kazuki-kun has to deal with the American idiots."

"Hiroya," I heard Dr. Matsuoka's familiar sigh, "I know you're like an overexcited puppy who just found a new toy, but you must have realized that Professor Sakaki isn't the type to hang out with new friends for hours on end. Give the man a break."

_New friends, huh? Well, I guess that's where this is headed._

"To be honest, I have some work to finish this evening." I somehow made my way out of the overcrowded kitchen and back to the main living area. "If Suzubishi and Ito have to leave, it's a good time for me to go as well. Do you need help cleaning up?"

Dr. Matsuoka shook his head, ponytail bobbing. "It's just a few dishes and some leftover snacks. I'm sure Hiroya will take care of those by the end of the evening."

"Ugh, Jin, not even I can eat that many brownies in one night..."

"Heh, maybe not." He got up from the couch and followed me to the door. "Thanks for coming, Professor Sakaki. I hope you found the evening more fun than awkward. We'd love to have you over again, whether it's just you, or with Professor Ito and Kazuki-kun like tonight. And," he peered intently at my face, "are you sure you're okay to drive? You drank more than the rest of us."

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was only one bottle between the four of us, and it's been about an hour since we finished it. I don't even feel it anymore." I bent to put on my shoes.

"Hmm, well... you know yourself best." His tone made it clear that he still had some doubts. "But if you change your mind, you can come back here and ask for a ride home. I'd never forgive myself if something happened."

I was tempted to tell him that he was worrying too much, but I bit my tongue. "Alright. Thank you for your concern. I could send you a message when I get home if you like."

"Yes, please do that. Well, then, good night. See you on Monday."

"Bye, Professor Sakaki!" Ito waved to me, grinning. "Come over again, okay?"

"Geez, Keita, you make it sound like this is _our_ apartment..."

"You guys are here often enough, we should start charging you rent." Dr. Yoshizumi laughed, then waved to me too. "Bye for now. Be sure to come back soon, okay? And bring more sake!"

Dr. Matsuoka let out a quiet but fond sigh. "Don't let Hiroya scare you off. He's annoying but harmless."

"I heard that, Jin!"

"Heh, you guys are a lively bunch." I dug my keys out of my pocket. "I'm going to get going before I'm sucked back into this mess. I'll see you on Monday. And... thanks for inviting me."

The doctor's smile was warm. "You're always welcome, Professor."

~ end ~


End file.
